No matter what happens to others you have to live with that. Humans born, live and die. This is life and part of it is death, not the end just different state. You may interpret it as “matter never gets lost it is merely being transformed” or to be more precise it is the energy. If you want to make your life easier then spend the rest of the days the best you can. This is something you can do.
One must know one’s limits. You cannot feed all the hungry, you cannot stop every bullet, you cannot save all the whales and solve others’ problems and you cannot change others. But you can choose how you interpret life and how you live it. Life is what it is. You can decide what you concentrate your attention on. A depressed person can only see the ground right in from of them and cannot hear the bird’s song, a child’s laughter or see the Sun. If this human lifts their head up and raise their vision from the ground – changing their point of view – then this human can see other parts of the world. What they do with the new information is up to them. There is billions of bits of information bombarding us every second and we only use a tiny fraction of that. The rest will be deleted, distorted and generalised. The bits we notice and what we do with them is entirely up to us.
You cannot change others. You can stand by another and pay attention to them respectfully and carefully. No matter how long will you relationship is going to last use every moment consciously. Forget about past hurts, misunderstandings and other bad memories. Live for today, from moment to moment. This you can do. Be a human being, not just a human doing.This is what I can encourage you with. Divert your attention to something you have complete control over.
I watched the Path of Freedom the other day. This short film is about inmates transforming their lives in prison through meditation. I mentioned meditation to a colleague and his reaction was that he labeled meditation as an “alternative” thing. That made me smile as I thought of certain religions which are much younger than the idea of meditation. Certain religions whose followers burned other humans at stake for not believing in their imaginary friend. Religions which support and promote a retribution based justice system. We keep the people who break the law locked up 23 hours a day and usually allow them an hour of exercise. How is it different we to how we keep most our best friends, the dogs? Pulling them around their leashes, keeping them locked up in our houses, wanting to change them to fit our lifestyles.
Have we shown the prisoners other ways to live? Have we explained to them what it feels like to be injured by an assault or losing something through theft? Have we shown them ways to love, respect and accept themselves? Or we rather just lock them up and loose the key? Have we realised that most of them will be released sometime?
Is it possible that we treat them this way because this is how we treat ourselves? Is it possible we have no idea how to change ourselves so we have no idea how to explain it to them? Can we start by accepting ourselves, loving and respecting ourselves. Surely it would be contagious. Of course we are running the risk that we will force the drug companies out of business and have to downsize our hospitals too…
So how do you appreciate or love yourself?