The parents yell at their child, “As long as you live under my roof you have to respect me”. During another argument someone says, “I did all these things for you and this is how you show your love and appreciation?” But what is the real issue here???
Nothing is sacred, so we might as well get our sharpest knife and cut right to the bone… Let’s make no assumptions and see where we are with this “love and respect” issue. We (believe) do so much for our loved ones or friends and get nothing in return. We feel frustrated and unappreciated.
Parents demand their children to love and respect them, because they raised them, fed them and so on, while they are forgetting that they got the same from their parents and their parents from their parents. So at the end of the day they whole world is here because of someone else’s mercy, love or whatever… Everyone here is already a recipient, recognise it or not, this is a fact. The least you got is the gift of life. Now take a deep breath and dive even further.
Friends expect other friends to do as they like, to be there for them. Is it really friendship if you only ever meet to go shopping together? I suggest it maybe just a different form or intensity of friendship. Just like love, friendship takes many forms and has many levels of intensity. One can love humanity or all sentient beings, but one’s love intensifies for beings “closer” to one’s heart. It is perhaps beyond explanation as there is no distance to really measure in relation to being closer to one’s heart, it is the limitation of any spoken language.
I will throw in the idea of setting “our” loved ones free and letting them come to us when they feel like it and only if they feel like it. Not demanding love and respect, because of our actions. And those who think they are giving so much and not getting enough in return, I will lighten your burden of expectation. Just give, without being attached to the outcome. Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed. While this may sound shallow at first, it is as wise as it gets. If you give because “I can” or “why not?” you will have a different perspective.
One terrible example of “giving” is the government of the USA. They are giving money, food, weapons etc to certain poor and less “developed” countries, but they always have conditions. If you only help when certain conditions are met, aka “your demands”, that is not real help, that is a business transaction and you are buying something. It’s time for us to re-evaluate our relationship and breath new life into them.
It really is a circle or a chain of never-ending mutual giving and receiving without expectation. This is a beautiful cosmic machine oiled by unconditional love and screwed up by expectation which is like sand in this magnificent machine. I’d rather be the machinist then the person who sprinkles dirt into it disguised as “care”.
I am shedding illusions every day and I am amazed how easily they creep back in a different form, in disguise. It really is an exercise at first to keep your heart-eye open. The Little Prince got it right “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye”. It is not easy at first and while you do it you will realise it gets easier.
Do you remember when you have seen with your heart?