If someone’s father has just died we say that “his/her father’s death” did this or that to that person. When we are saying that do we mean that his/her father actually owned his death? Is it the same as “my life” or “your life”? Is it that we claim a slice of the big Life and we believe it to be ours and by using the same point of view we think we own death?
How we live “our” life defines “our” death or “My lifestyle determines my deathstyle” as James Hetfield put it. We are conditioned to seek to control or attempt to control everything and by this we think if we “own” something we also control it. Instead of loving we possess. This mindset makes us say “my wife” or “my son” and so on.
Are we in the same time afraid that we are being controlled or even worse we are being owned? Are we trying to appear more powerful by owning more? A bigger car or house appear to show that we can afford things. We then get married so people can see we can afford to have children. Not necessarily because we like children – although later we may grow to like our “own” but not other people’s children – but because we have seen our parents, friends and neighbours getting married and living a “happy” life. A family life, which appears perfect to outsiders, but living in it is a nightmare: where the husband is the lord of the house and has control over everything. Where parental, spousal authority rules everything, not love.
We then start treating the members of our families like objects we own and control. We even advertise this with little stickers we put on the rear windscreens of our cars: “my family”. Look at them, I can afford all this: the car, the wife, the children, they are mine.
Where all this start to lose its meaning is when we lift our vision and broaden our horizon. When we stop being afraid and use shields and mask to hide our true self, even from ourself. When I, a human being, realise that every human is family. When I stop referring to animals as “creature” who were put here to serve me. When I realise that animals and humans are the same: living, breathing, not wanting to suffer. Show me an animal who will come back if it gets kicked. Yes I used the word “who” instead of “which” and this is part of the change. The new point of view, which is not higher or lower, but broader. Which sees life as one global unity movement…
Are you with me?